The Trials of Hephaestus
by Drake Son of Hephaestus
Summary: When the Quail of Hephaestus, a bird who threatens to destroy the world, is stolen, all Hades breaks loose. The gods are thrown into disarray from being blackmailed by it's captor. He threatens to kill the bird and shed it's blood on top of the Yellowstone Caldera and set off a chain reaction, setting off every volcano in the world and destroying all life on Gaea and reviving her.


**A/N: That explosion was literally nothing, so don't worry about it. I made one last fourth wall break because I couldn't help it. Sorry. I'm _so_ trashy, that I needed to stuff my OC roster with _three_ of mine. Meet Emma, my _other_ OC. Also, since I need this to work, this is now set _now_. It's because I want a thing and if Emma's 13, it would be really strange.**

 **David (And Hephaestus)**

 **I**

 _ **David**_

"He's got the bird!"

An indistinguishable voice was shouting things from a distance.

I was on some sort of mountain. It was dark and from the position of the moon, it was probably about midnight.

I saw a kid running and I couldn't see who it was. It had no face or hair. I followed them for about 20 seconds until I saw a hooded figure.

He wore black robes and his face was covered with shadows. He held a dagger in his right hand and a bird in his left. He held the knife to it's esophagus.

He made a small laceration, just enough for a drip of blood to slip out.

The instant the drop of golden ichor touched the ground, I felt Earth rumble.

I saw only red for a second, and when I opened my eyes, I was being propelled through the night sky. Propelled back into reality.

I opened my eyes and realized I was lying on my bedroll in the Hermes cabin, or, I should say, on my brother Jean Luc, who was on _his_ bedroll. He was sound asleep as I pretty much just sat on him.

I got up and got dressed. It was early, so nobody was awake yet. Well, that is, except for my friend Ace who walked through the dim corner in the bathroom.

I instinctively melted into a pile of snow, my toothbrush landing on my snow face.

"Yo, Snow-bro it's time to go."

If I could glare, I would.

"Scoop me up, I can't change back without wind!" I shouted.

Ace shrugged and left me there, alone, to get a shovel.

I decided to use my snow-body-pile-thing to make a new snow-manikin body for me.

 _Gods_ , I thought, _I hope it's not snowing, I don't want to get lost in it..._

Did I mention to you guys that this story takes place in December?

As I was walking out the door, Ace screamed like a very manly jock-girl and punched me in my snow face.

"Oh, gods," He held his fists to his face in defense. " I thought you were some sort of snowbot."

He expression of fear turned into a grin.

"Dude, stop it with the snow puns!" I shouted, without a face, nonetheless.

The majority of my snow-bod fell on the frosty ground, materializing into me. The inner portion of my face flew into the face size hole left in my head. It was strange, seeing my body with a hole, if even for a second.

When I got up, I was stumbling around. "I hate when my body materializes before my face goes back in..."

Ace just laughed, helping me up after the second time I fell.

"Where are we going?" I asked, giving my hand to Ace.

He smirked and said, "Oh, snow-where..."

"I said stop!" I don't like snow puns...

"Cry baby..."

I scoffed.

I struggled but continued to follow him, walking towards the borders.

"Hey, Ace, we're not aloud to leave camp!" I shouted pulling away.

His grip didn't loosen. We walked past the invisible barrier, being greeted by Drake, wearing a muscle cuirass, greaves, and a mail skirt.

"Wassup!"

He ran over to us.

He locked me in a hug, which I backed out of. How old was he? I'd guess he was seventeen.

I've actually heard camp stories about. "It's you again!" I shouted, a look of glee rushing to my face.

"Yeah, save the questions for later, please."

I left him to talk to Ace.

A boy walked forward in a linothorax, trailing behind Drake. "I-I told to wait for me."

The boy was breathing heavily.

"Not my fault you're slower than Nectar!" Drake turned and yelled at him.

"Hey, you brought me here against my will!"

"You're the one who wanted to walk!"

I had enough. I shouted, "Guys stop, it's not worth it. Why are we even here?"

"The prophecy, duh." Ace said, looking at me.

"Who are you?" Linothorax Boy said, sizing me up.

"I'm David..."

"Um, okay."

He promptly turned around and walked to the others.

"Um... Hi David."

I spun around to be greeted by Amber. She twirled her braid.

She radiated warmth, like the hot summers down in Cali.

You know that feeling when you get really warm when you stand in front of a window on a sunny day? Yeah, she feels like that. All the time.

"Hi?" I say, being called over by Ace shortly after.

"Drake said he couldn't help because some dude on this fanfiction website said that he shouldn't. And then he said, "Don't worry, it's a lot of fourth wall stuff you wouldn't understand." like he usually does."

"Then who's going to fill in?" I ask, scratching my head.

"Some kid named Dorius Blorius or something." Ace shook his head, holding back a sniffle.

"The name's Chris, actually."

I spun around to see a brunet boy a little taller than Ace greet me.

I feel myself spinning around to be greeted by randos a lot today...

Drake spoke up, "We were going to name him _Corius_ , we just didn't want to get confused. The "Blorius" is just a coincidence, though. That was his mother's last name."

A girl walked out from nowhere. "Dad," she said, to Drake nonetheless. "dad says he wants you over for brunch because he already invited you in your 40s and didn't want to intrude on anyone else."

"Grandma, take me with you!" Chris shouted, locking the girl in a hug.

She pushed him off of her. "Whoa, personal space. Please."

"Natalie, don't take him," Drake said, "he's grounded and needs to go on a quest. Get off his jacked up 3D virtual reality computer thing."

"Wish we had those..." Natalie said, continuing. "Off topic- what would happen if I kill you?"

"Nothing, you can't. But if Chris were to kill _you-_ if that's what you mean- the universe would be subject to an infinite amount of rips, ultimately creating a grandfather paradox."

"And a grandfather paradox is, say, if a time traveler went back in time to kill his grandfather, he would die and never be able to have his parent and the time traveler would never be born, so he could never kill his grandfather. There are a lot of theories on the subject, and many books I could recommend, if you'd like." said an unknown voice.

She had strange eyes. They were the exact same as Drake's, which was a little bit more unsettling, since his were most definitely recessive. She had tan skin and a fedora on her dark curled hair.

"Victoria," Chris started, "what-"

"Wait," I interrupted, starting to get confused. "So Drake is Natalie's dad, Victoria and Drake are the same person, and Chris is Natalie's grandson. Correct?"

They all looked at each other until Natalie said, "Spot on, actually."

"Are there any other family members I should know about?"

"Three. Natalie's siblings: Drake, Jacob, and Lydia. Only one of which isn't named after a prior family member." an unknown one of the four said.

"I meant ones that are relevant to this quest." I say, biting my lip.

"Nope," Victoria said, "no more."

Drake spoke up after a while, "Okay, Natalie, go tell me that I'll be there shortly."

"Okay, bye dad"

And she disappeared.

"I better get going before someone accidentally kills Chris and create another grandfather paradox and I can't fix it because I was never born. Ugh."

"What do you mean? Mom and dad had two other kids."

"I was just looking for an excuse to leave." Victoria snorted, disappearing in a flash.

Drake smiled. "And I want those little amuse-bouche hors d'oeuvres that I always make. Yum."

And he disappeared, leaving a blue hole in the spot that he was standing. It shortly faded away.

And with that, only five of us were left.

Jean Luc showed up a few minutes later. He didn't really speak but a few sentences, and then he just sat on a bench, staring at the sky. Oh wait...

"Who's missing?" Ken asks, seemingly puzzled.

"I have no idea..." Chris

"There were only supposed to be six of you, but if you're accepting volunteers..."

"N-no problem." Ken says before turning around.

It was Emma, the girl from earlier, if you guys forgot.

Her charmspeak was so strong, she turned the heads of everyone. That is, except for Chris, who was staring at his phone and Amber, who just didn't care.

Chris decided to look up. His face curved into a smile. He ran and gave Emma a bear hug and Ace's cheeks turned red.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, how long has it been?"

"Like five years." she said, becoming slightly inquisitive.

He rubbed his neck, "T's been three months for me."

"Wow," she said, "that time and space traveler thing must be really weird, eh?"

"Don't worry great g-maw, I'm still your big boy."

"Please, never say that again."

"Okay," I said, walking over. "You're in.

She smiled.

Her voice was amazing. It was like she was singing in her regular speech, melodies changing dramatically.

Singsong couldn't describe it well enough.

If I imagined, I could hear guitars playing behind her voice.

I'm getting off track. Seriously, she was amazing.

She had a curled ponytail, a common style for girls at camp. The brown ribbon-y strands flowed in the wind, begging to be let loose.

"Drooling men. How abstruse." she said, looking at her nails.

I shivered.

I comprehended what she said and instinctively rubbed my bottom lip, moistening my finger.

"I don't know what abstruse means, but I hope it means flattering." Ace says, appearing behind me again.

She gritted her teeth. "It means strange, like those homely shoes."

He stared at his feet self-consciously.

Her pocket vibrated. She pulled out a note and read, "Drake says we are going to get a lot more prophecies."

She writes on the back. She rips it and it dissipates from her hands.

"What are we doing?" Amber asks, getting up.

"I'm not sure where we're even supposed to start."

 **(Line break and A/N. I totally forgot to make a starting point, or a catalyst, as Gallantmon would say XD)**

 _ **Hephaestus**_

Hephaestus sat on his throne. It was a chunk of some rock, carved to his liking. He was based in a volcano on Lemnos.

The lame god stood, wobbling on his braces.

"I need some servants..." he grumbled, wiping oil out of his scraggly beard.

A new thing he'd invented stood in the corner of his throne room.

He stepped over a magma puddle and turned steam valves and tapped gauges. A whirring noise came from the machine. A panel slid out. It held a cellphone, printed in forty seconds. The fully functional cellular device was much more cool than most things on the market.

It was a sleek black, made of tungsten, for protection. The screen was hardened mercury, for it's mirror like surface.

It worked like a regular phone, but it had a night vision camera, a 100% AI capable personal assistant, and interchangeable pieces.

He checked his G-Mail (God-Mail. No sponsor.) and the _Olympus Square_. He then downloaded his daily copy of _Hammers N' Wrenches_ and checked the review for his autobiography G-Books.

Hephaestus read them out loud, " _Lame and Lost in Lemnos_ is a phenomenal story about a man who does nothing for a while, does something, does nothing again, then does something again. Words can't explain how beautifully slow paced and ass-filled this story was. Go Hephaestus! You ride those mules!"

He grinned, turning the phone off.

He heard his doorbell ring, being greeted by his step-sister Athena.

"What have you done?" she asks, a hint of anger in her voice.

She lifted him by his shirt, bringing the short cripple face-to-face with her.

"What _did_ I do?" Hephaestus said, struggling. It wasn't everyday that homicidal women of immense power came to his door, threatening him.

The war god trailed behind her, panting. "Sis, it's so hot. Can we go back home?"

She turned her head, making eye contact with her older brother. "I'm doing something."

He put his hands up, backing away.

"Hey, Athena. We're cool remember, I help you when you were stuck in Zeus's head."

She loosened her grip on his collar a bit. "Oh yeah, the old "Prometheus, restrain his shoulders and I'll get my ax" thing. You also tried to rape me." she says, not hiding the poison in her words.

"At least he became the king." The metallurgy god shrugged.

"He drove two women insane. They jumped off of a cliff."

"Okay, so what do you want?" Hephaestus asked, ready to finish the altercation.

"Where's your bird." She phrased it as a command, not a question.

"My-my bird? Oh, you mean the quail!"

"Yes, that. The quail." she said, acting as if she knew it was a quail.

"His name is Eta, he's in the cage back there."

He nodded towards the back of his workshop

"No, he's not." Athena eyes darted around the room.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Hephaestus practically shouted, "That bird can destroy the world!"

Athena dropped him. "Fix it. Now!"

"I can't without any knowledge of where the bird is at."

"I expect you to find it as soon as possible. If you don't, my father won't be the only one with a hole in his head, and I can promise you won't heal from it."

With one quick motion, she spun, her straight brown hair catching up with her.

He caught a glimpse of her gray eyes, and she disappeared.

He struggled to his feet. He knew one person who could help him. Someone loyal, yet stronger than him.

"Son, I need a favor..."

 _ **David**_

My mouth tasted of raspberries. A bitter sweet flavor, puckering my lips.

We had gathered our materials and were ready to leave. We _still_ had no idea where we going, but Drake said if we fly northwest (no, not the airline) we should find our way soon.

We went with what he told us, and here we are, in a private jet, paid for by Emma's father, because she's f**king rich (please excuse my language, I had to add the necessary censorship.)

Ace looks at Emma and asks, "Who is your father, anyway?"

"James Parker. My sister's the pilot. She's a daughter of Hephaestus and also my boyfriends sister. Don't ask."

"Ask if you'd like! I'm single, if you'd like to know." the sister shouted.

Chris was listening. "Wait, Lydia?"

"Chris?" she said, noticing his voice.

I speak up, "Is this some big family get together?"

Chris grinned sheepishly, "I forget that it's strange for someone who doesn't understand out little esoteric time traveler society."

"It's not esoteric," Emma says, "just misunderstood."

He shrugged.

"Guy's, I think someon-"

I hear screaming coming from the cockpit.

"Lydia!" the majority of us shout in unison.

"We're falling!" Jean Luc shouts, stating the obvious.

A white dragon flies away, Lydia in his hands. Her blonde hair unruly and her left pink stiletto falling towards the ground.

Jean Luc fell through the hole, manipulating the winds and landing softly below us.

Apparently his power don't give him good depth perception and he got confused.

A lot of our powers (except for mine, Amber's, and Chris's supposed divine time manipulation) aren't really useful in a situation like this.

And I felt a rush of relief. It was snowing.

We were in Southern Ontario, but I wasn't sure where exactly along the lines of North/West we were supposed to go.

We were being pulled towards the back of the plane.

"We're jumping." I asserted.

The rest shrugged, each jumping out one by one.

I manipulated the falling snow, creating a ball around us.

When we hit, I heard a large crunch. The sound of snow being crushed.

I willed the snow to move, a tight feeling in my stomach.

I shook the excess out of my shorts. Oh yeah, did I tell you I have to wear summer clothes in the winter?

It's a pain, clothes shopping during the winter season.

We dug out of the ball. Most of my companions were shivering.

Amber released a blast of heat. They kept shivering, but I needed a fan.

 **(I doubt anybody cares, but Star Wars spoilers ahead XD Skip the bold parts if you do.)**

We stare at each other until I strike up a conversation. "Has anybody seen the new Star Wars movie?"

"I have!" Amber shouts.

"I don't watch movies." says Jean Luc.

"I downloaded a bootlegged torrent." Ken adds.

"Are you guys talking about episode eight? Eleven was soooooo long ago."

"Well, don't give me any spoi-" I was cut off by Ken.

" **Han Solo dies. His kid kills him.** "

"Dude!" I shout. I already knew though, I just wanted to see if anyone would tell me.

"We should get going," Jean Luc says, "the sun's going down. I can feel it."

"I can see it. Your point is?" says Ken.

"You idiot," Chris says, "when the sun goes down, we can't see. It's snowing, we have no shelter, and the worst predators and monsters stalk at night."

"Who you callin' an idiot?"

"You!" Chris shouts, "You're the one who just made two grammar mistakes in one sentence!"

Ken lunged at Chris, sending a large fist towards his face.

He dodged every punch with extreme accuracy.

He ducked beneath Ken's left hook and sent a jab to his stomach.

Ken fell, coughing. He soon became attuned to Chris's strategy.

Every time Chris threw a hit, Ken either caught it or blocked it.

It went on for thirteen seconds.

Ace pulled Ken off Chris. The boy struggled, but Ace sent a wave of despair energy through him, knocking him out. He crumpled to the ground.

Chris willingly stopped, even though he knew he could easily kill Ace.

We got our bearing and decided to build a house. Chris must have had some legacy of Hephaestus or it was another one of his strange powers, because he built that house in six minutes.

I was a small cabin. He used his carpentry powers to build us beds. I was one floor and not insulated, but what do you expect to get accomplished in four minutes.

Amber kept a steady flow of warmth flowing the the cabin. She turned it on some sort of autopilot.

Believe it or not, Jean Luc and I slept outside.

And I was still unbelievably hot.

We created a heavy snowfall over us, and I drifted to sleep.

First I had this Star Wars dream that ended with Khione saying, "I am you mother Jean Luc."

I'm just noticing how genius I am.

After that, it took a turn for the signature "frozen-and-wathcing" demigod lucid dream.

I open my eyes. I'm on a bedroll next to Amber.

Suddenly, Amber rolls over and speaks in my ear in the same raspy voice, " _Watch your friend, don't tassste hisss blade. Watch him closssse but don't be ssswayed."_

The same shadow-covered man from before beheaded her, and I sat helpless.

He held his left arm behind his back, as if hiding something.

He pulled his right arm in the air, and the second his sword almost hit my face, I woke up.

I was in sleep paralysis and saw a figure run. I caught gleam of bronze and heard rustling in the tree behind me.

We need to move. Like now.

Jean Luc must've already went inside.

I trudge through the heavy snow and open the door to the cabin.

"Hey, David. Sleep late?" Jean Luc said.

Amber elbowed him, "You literally just woke up."

Her smile was bright, as usual.

Everybody was awake, and I'm too lazy to go into detail on the cabin, so you can imagine it.

"We need to go." I say, grabbing my white duffel bag.

They followed me out and I touch the ground.

I know mud can get you stuck, but I was sinking, and so were my friends.

A sticky situation, eh?

I will tell you guys about it next time. As for now, Drake invited me over for some hors d'oeuvres.

Yum.

 ** _I'm doing a new thing where at the end, I give the current stats of the character who is the main POV of the chapter._**

 ** _David:_**

 ** _Power: 65_**

 ** _Intelligence: 61_**

 ** _Happiness (-20 to 20): 11, cuz it's snowing._**

 ** _Money: $12.32 and 2 drachmas (about $50 if he traded for USD)_**

 ** _Inventory: duffel bag, red velvet cake mix, car keys, smart phone._**

 ** _Wounds or bruises: Scrape on his arm from falling out of plane (Not permanent)_**

 **A** **/N: Yay, chapter one! Sorry it took so long, I finished it and had to restart from the second page since I deleted it. Read and review and let the Drake be with you.**

 **-DSoH**


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